Running and working out are not just healthy lifestyle choices for me. They both (running especially) help with bringing clarity to challenges I’m working through in my head and give me a chance to turn off my “mom mode” or “professional mode”. When I know I can’t be at my best for K2 (the kids) I have to do something so that I can be at my best…. they deserve that. But let’s be honest… we are all human and can’t always be at our best.  

The other day I found myself struggling with this whole new situation in my Bodyflow class. As I lay quietly in the “meditation” state tears stream down my face. I realize then that while I put on a brave face every day, I am actually struggling with this whole diagnosis too. I hate restricting his calories during the day. I hate watching him walk around with a feeding tube in his nose.  I hate that I don’t know what the future holds us.  I hate feeling selfish for taking time to go for a run or go work out.  And I hate that he blames us for this lifelong disease.  (I do know that this is his 9 yr old way of dealing with his emotions so I’m not forever scarred by that last one!)

Running and working out is exactly what this mom needs… It’s my kind of therapy… And it helps me realize that I don’t have to be brave and strong every single day. I can cry once in a while too!  On the days when I feel like I am being selfish by working out or going for a run I will try to remember that the run or workout session is helping me be a better mom for my family. 

UP NEXT:  MRE test & results, vacationing in Martha’s Vineyard with K2, teaching the family about KEM’s diet,  formula/medicine and our new eating lifestyle….