Earlier this week I found myself in a very silly text conversation with my mom and sister. I started the conversation off with a random text to both of them saying, “soooo Kevin and I don’t know how to do Thanksgiving. We’ve never not traveled…” My sister responded, “as in you don’t know how to cook it or you don’t know what you should do this year?” I instantly thought to myself, “of course I don’t know how to cook it; I am a vegetarian and have never actually cooked a turkey in my life”, but that wasn’t quite what I meant.

I responded to the group text reminding them that we (me, husband, and K2) have always traveled for Thanksgiving. When Kevin and I got married we agreed that we would rotate holidays each year with each other’s family. So every major holiday, such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter, we get in the car and travel to PA or NY. Then my smartass sister texted back and said, “well to not travel, you just stay home”. Then I found myself back at the starting point of my initial text to both of them. We don’t know how to do Thanksgiving… ALONE! I know I don’t know how to “do” holidays alone and I know neither do K2.

While COVID has wrecked havoc on both sides of Kevin’s and my family, it has not affected us nearly as bad as others have been affected. Believe me when I say, we are so very grateful that haven’t experienced some of the significant loss that others have experienced since COVID hit last spring. In fact, dare I say that while others have lost so much, we have actually been spared and given many blessings. During COVID we have welcomed several little babes to the extended family, sold our house in a matter of 3 days, found an amazing new home, and spent quality time (after the travel bans were lifted) vacationing and socially distancing with my family.

But as I sit here on Halloween, I once again find myself feeling out of sorts with this new way of living, especially as it relates to family events and holidays. I still haven’t quite expected this new normal and not sure I ever will be able to accept it. You see, we as a family of 4, have always gone out trick or treating together, or stayed at home and passed out candy to the neighborhood kids and enjoyed making them say “trick or treat” to get candy. But as much as we wanted to finally meet the neighbors who live in our new development, we found ourselves not participating in Halloween and instead apart from each other.

KMM was lucky enough to spend quality bonding time down at one of the Delaware beaches with her roller skating team and coaches. They all dressed up and I am sure are getting their fill of candy! Kevin went fishing for a bit and KEM and I took an early night stroll through Killen’s Pond State Park. After our walk through Killen’s Pond we took a drive down to the sweetFrog Store down in Rehoboth Beach for dinner and dessert. That is the one frozen yogurt store that doesn’t set him off into a Crohn’s flare.

And even though I had an amazing time with my teenage son who is always too cool to hang out with me these days, I sat there wondering if this is what the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays would be like (and not because I don’t want to cook!). Holidays are ALWAYS a major family event for us. We sit around and eat, drink, and share stories and memories about our current lives or the “good ‘ole days”. But most of all, we spend time with our family.

I know the world we live in right now is different, but it doesn’t make it any easier. I miss my family, I miss the traditions that Gammy Fran passed along to all of us. And I am fearful as the COVID holidays continue, that many of those traditions will be so altered that we will find it difficult to get back to our normal, traditional, family affairs.